Here’s what you may have missed this week at iQ Trivia.

WINNERS

If you won, here’s evidence just in case anyone doesn’t believe you.

JACKPOTS

Once in a while, knowing about cigar sizes pays off.

TEAM NAMES

Here’s how you hit the genetic jackpot

Allergic to avocados so I can afford a house

Advanced UV radiation detection (because I’m so pale)

Born human

Just ask me, I’m a test tube baby

Male pattern tallness

Covid 19 immune

We have photographic memories (they’re just not developed yet)

Not being gay in Iran

Being ethnically ambiguous

Right handed not wrong handed

My magnificent mandibular mane

I never needed braces

We’re high all the time

Two X chromosomes

I don’t cry when cutting onions

I am the only non bald person in my family, and that includes my sister.

Brains and bust

My boobs were so big I had to give them back

I have a beautiful pancreas

White males

My privilege has so many checks it’s tartan

TriviArt

Skinny Vegemite

Dancing Bottles

Sleepy Umbrella

Sultry Coronavirus

Oliver Cromwell: Bin Man

Jumping Food

Pretty Spatula

Spicy Teletubby

Sloppy Turtle

INTERESTING MOMENTS

One of our player guessed we were about to play a song associated with the can can, and then we played Offenbach’s Orpheus in the Underworld, which you probably know as “that can can song.”

On the other hand, half of the room recognised Mary Poppins singing, but not Julie Andrews as the singer. Who ARE you people?

Two teams called Cartman from South Park “Carlton”. Perhaps from the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

We are often asked to spell parts of the question, and we’re happy to oblige. But if you ask us to spell something in Mandarin… you’re making some pretty bold assumptions about our knowledge of Asian languages.

A method of childbirth beginning with the letter L? It’s not Lamaze. It’s “leave it alone” or “let ‘er rip”.

See you next week.

Here’s what you may have missed this week at iQ Trivia.

WINNERS

If you won, here’s evidence just in case anyone doesn’t believe you.

TEAM NAMES

We are very interested in hearing your misspelled songs. (Warning, there will be some salty language.)

My Corona (several times)

I got flu babe

Every breast you take

My fart will go on

Two strong farts

It’s a beautiful gay

Electric boobs, B B B Benny and the Chest

Another one bites the bust

New York, concrete jungle wet dream tomato

Under the fridge

Tony Danza

Smells like spleen spirit

Poops, I did it again

Sweet hole Alabama

I wanna duck you like an animal

Uptown f*ck you up

Truly, manly, deeply

Like a sturgeon

Motel California

Hit me with your best shit

Happy birthday to poo

Shit me baby one more time

Baby shart doo doo doo doo doo doo

Come in Eileen

C#nt tree roads

Dark side of the poon

Don’t let your son go down on me

TriviArt

Vague Penis

Bouncing Dog

Smokey Bird

Grumpy Ship

Mouldy Government

Dying Pants

Clean Elephant Fallopian Tubes

Funny Dog

Big Headed Beer

INTERESTING MOMENTS

The Impossible Dream by Elvis was given as “The Improbable Dream”.

When we asked about inscriptions on British coins, one player who had been there recently went digging through her change looking for one with the right inscription only to come up empty handed. (You never known when looking at coins might pay off.)

We asked about versions of Masterchef, and one of our teams came up with Junior Masterchef, Celebrity Masterchef, and Masterchef Accurate Payroll.

We asked a question about religion, and one team gave us “that Indian one”. First of all, you’re thinking of Hinduism, and second, the Talmud is associated with Judaism.

And someone left their shoes at trivia. Look, we know trivia can be so absorbing that you can lose track of everything else, but dammit man! You’ve GOT to remember your shoes! Nobody wants them hanging around.

See you next week.

Here’s what you may have missed this week at iQ Trivia.

WINNERS

If you won, here’s evidence just in case anyone doesn’t believe you.

JACKPOTS

They came in first place & won a jackpot of $120. Everyone is going to be gunning for them next week.

And they won on their first time, which should be encouraging for all those new teams who think they can’t win.  It’s JUST one question.

TEAM NAMES

There were a lot of cases of mistaken identity.

Alan Jones and the Temple of Doom

Scott Van Morrison

Charlie Chaplin and the Chocolate Factory

Breaking News: Leonardo DiCaprio’s Mona Lisa has been stolen!

Little Women on the Prairie

Jack Sparrow the Ripper

Sena Patrick Thomas as Doogie Howser MD

Paul Kelly Clarkson

Tennis champion Roger Moore

The 40 Year Old Virgin starring Steve Jobs

John Paul II, George, and Ringo

Bohemian Rhapsody by Prince

Sponge Bob Menzies

We loved Nelson Mandela in the Shawshank Redemption

The Shawshank Redemption Mother F*cker! Starring Samuel L. Jackson

Harley Quinn Davidson

I love John Wayne Gacy’s western movies

Weird Al Gore Vidal

iQ Trivia with Joe Stalin

Obama bin Laden

Bernadette Cumberbatch

Snow White and the Seven Wonders of the World

Daniel Craig as Harry Potter

Marilyn Manson singing Happy Birthday Mr President

Louis Armstrong landed on the moon

Lance Armstrong landed on the moon

Marie Claire, that famous scientist who won two Nobel Prizes

A Brief History of Time by Steven Segal

TriviArt

Vexatious Humpback Whale (courtesy of lawyers)

Breezy Turtle

Slippery Rooster

Suspenseful Fig

Sweaty Cow

Canadian Bob Ross

Crunchy Saucy Potato

Moist Floppy Butthole

Sweaty Platypus

Incredible Light Rail

INTERESTING MOMENTS

One of our winners was a team who drove nearly an hour to see one of our hosts in Canberra.

When we asked about countries of birth in the Australian census and reminded people that they should get at least one, about half of the teams still forgot to put down “Australia.”

One player was sent up to answer a bonus question & was so certain they were wrong they were embarrassed to show us. Turns out they were right.

We got one of the more direct (though very much not safe for kids) answers to one of our jackpot questions.

And one team had to put up with an interloper who was a fan of Billy Thorpe and the Aztecs. When we played the line “most people I know…” and asked for the next line, he leaned in all creepy like & said “think that I’m crazy.” They thought he was ACTUALLY crazy & ignored him. Note to trivia interlopers everywhere… if you want to give people a hint, it’s best if you don’t do it in the creepiest way possible.

See you next week.

If you won, here’s evidence just in case anyone doesn’t believe you.

JACKPOTS

They knew a lot about film to win a jackpot on their first try.

Two teams got the first question at one venue, before one guessed a country as Thai & the other guessed Thailand on the second. We told them Thai is not a country, but that the answer was an Asian country beginning with TH… and it was… The Philippines. So… yeah, no jackpots this week. Also, we are terrible people.

TEAM NAMES

We sincerely hope nobody ever decides to make products based on your team names.

Harry & Megan

Durian & anything

Cocaine & lunch with mum

Puppies & cocaine

Sandpaper tissues

Sandpaper toilet roll

Chilli undies

Red hot chilli condoms

Tabasco condoms

Chilli wank

Szechuan cockrings

Hot sauce bidet: Together at last

Avocado on toast

Salt & caramel

Meat pie ice cream

Meat shampoo

Add lyme disease to your Coronavirus

The AFL women’s competition

Brangelina

Alarm clock silencers

Ilya & trivia hosting

Ilya & his mum

Team Bagpuss goes with everything… except sobriety

Squidward & the will to live

Milk & orange toothpaste

Croc condoms

Windex nasal spray

Windex ketchup

Tomato sauce ice cream

Fish & gummy bear wrap

Mango mi-goreng

Tuna chocolate

Vegemite Tim Tams

Microbead lubricant

Mum & dad

Prawn cider

Baby roller derby

Indian food & anal sex

TriviArt

Boring Knife

Pretty Gland

Wooly Plant

Spicy Lobster

Fluffy Fireman

Cheesy Sydney

Spiky Koala

Saucy Porcupine

Juicy Sweden

Scary Dildo

INTERESTING MOMENTS

A question on cricket dismissals is going to be tough on German & American tourists who have never seen cricket, but they did come up with methods of dismissal including strike out (close enough to bowled), hit by the ball (close enough to LBW), pooped on the field, dancing naked, and insulting the referee (which isn’t really close to any actual method of dismissal in cricket, but is certainly ill advised.)

New Jersey was described as “that state where all the horrible people live.”

We had to explain to someone that Canberra was NOT the capital of South Australia, and they still gave Canberra as an answer. We also had to convince them that Germany was a country.

Name a large German car manufacturer? How about Aldi? Well, we wouldn’t be surprised to see them selling cars in that wonderful centre aisle.

See you next week.

Here’s what you may have missed this week at iQ Trivia.

WINNERS

If you won, here’s evidence just in case anyone doesn’t believe you.

JACKPOTS

When you hand in your jackpot answer sheet two seconds late, we won’t accept it. Not even if you’re new. Not even if the answer is correct. Not when we’ve set out some very specific rules. Luckily they took it all with good humour & we had a drink afterwards.

This team, on the other hand, not only came first, but won a jackpot on a question they had no idea on but got with a random guess.

You ARE allowed to hate them.

TEAM NAMES

What’s the dumbest way to avoid Corona virus?

Drink tequila instead, but you might get Tequila virus

Boil your Corona before you drink it

I’m heading to the beach with a Pina Colada because alcohol and heat kills the virus

Goop presents: Butt plug kills Corona virus

Switch to VB

Can I get Corona virus by drinking too much Corona? Asking for a friend

A squeeze of lime with your bat soup

Quarantine yourself indefinitely

Black market organ transplants… you can’t get hurt if it’s not your respiratory system

Stick a lime in your ear

Just add lime disease

Go down to the pub and wait for all this to blow over

Drink Coronas, fight virus with virus

Voting for One Nation

Dettol killz germs

Eat your greens & crusts

Holiday at the detention centre

Wear a condom on your face so you can’t get f*cked by Corona Virus

Lick everyone you know

Stay home and watch The Crown

Cough into your mouth

Install anti-virus software

Upgrade your McAfee or Norton

Using Class A drugs to nuke Corona virus

Xenophobia

Don’t play Chinese Checkers because it causes Corona virus

Only eat the Australian meanls at your local Chinese

Honey, don’t order the sweet & sour pork

Can’t get sick when your face is wrapped in Glad wrap

Cling. Wrap. EVERYTHING!

Drink bleach, feel peach

Rub lime on your genitals

You can’t catch Corona virus if your genitals are covered in tabasco sauce

Everyone who has died didn’t give me money… just saying

Don’t go to Woolies when baby formula is on special

You can’t catch Corona virus if you already have it

TriviArt

Contagious Giraffe

Muddy Gas

Flagellating Dumpling

Bald Shoes

Invigorating Tortilla Chips

Porky Impeachment

Furry Coffee Mugs

INTERESTING MOMENTS

A sportsman’s tattoo and the sport they played got some guesses from people who were clearly hedging their bets. One mentioned the tennis player Sonny Bill Williams, and one mentioned rugby player Nick Kyrgios.

“Let’s Hear it for the Boy” was used in a 1984 film. But it wasn’t Footloose. Oh no. It was George Orwell’s 1984 according to one team. (That would have given that dystopian police state a very different feel.)

We asked about the Domino’s logo, and one player quickly ran out to the local Domino’s to check.

A group of Star Wars fans go so lost in their knowledge of Star Wars details that they forgot to listen to what the actual question asked about the death of Emperor Palpatine in Return of the Jedi.

On a current events bonus question, one team used their one guess to say that searches for “Beer Coronavirus” had risen by 450%. The next guess we got was… 450%… again. Yeah, it pays to listen to what others have said.

And one question compared alcohol consumption between Australians who play tennis and average Australians. One team misheard “average” as “aboriginal”. At least we HOPE that was misheard and not intentional!

See you next week.

Here’s what you may have missed this week at iQ Trivia.

WINNERS

If you won, here’s evidence just in case anyone doesn’t believe you.

JACKPOTS

Knowing about minor characters from The Wind In The Willows doesn’t pay very often… except when it does.

Knowing about Fireman Sam doesn’t pay very often… except when it does.

TEAM NAMES

You came up with a lot of new projects for the federal government to fund.

The Kobe Bryant Memorial Flight School

A new helicopter for my basketball team

Funding for a Hawaiian holiday so I can avoid doing my job

Funding for my early retirement

Funding for a 2 day work week

$40,000 for fortnightly wine tasting in the Hunter

Epstein investigation fund

More funding for trivia education

Fountain pens for our trivia team

More Chanel handbags for people named Laura

Fighting depression through mass kitten sales

Dog patting stress sessions

Subsidised airfares for Canadians visiting Australia

Andrew Bolt “let’s burn all the coal because warming is good for us” fund

Carbon emission offsets for every fart

Government funded overthrowing of the government

Research into the danger of dihydrogen monoxide

Royal Commission into the downsizing of happy hour drinks

Hawaiian bushfire resort fund

A fundraiser to send Scott Morrison to Hawaii forever

A personal space rocket to the sun for Scott Morrison

Please fund me so I can selfishly travel abroad to “delight” poor communities with my presence

TriviArt

Psychedelic Houses

Maximum Panzer

Beautiful Onion Ogre

Volcanic Lyre

Moist Toes

Perplexed Beer

INTERESTING MOMENTS

On a question on 8 letter rugby teams, one team contemplated going with Eeeeeels.

We had to remind one team that saying something mixed in with a dozen other answers doesn’t get points. You’ve got to write it down.

The process by which someone becomes a saint is not crucifixion. (At least not necessarily.)

And we had a new record high score… of 92… sort of.

Their actual score was 80, but they benefited from a 12 point bonus from a previous week on account of a 12 point miscalculation. Don’t worry, their 80 would have won anyway.

See you next week.

Here’s what you may have missed this week at iQ Trivia.

WINNERS

If you won, here’s evidence just in case anyone doesn’t believe you.

TEAM NAMES

How would Donald Trump insult himself? Here’s how.

“We need a leader who isn’t a laughing stock. – @RealDonaldTrump 9 August 2014”

That millionaire’s hands are so small he can’t satisfy his daughter.

Dumb Donnie lost a billion dollars in the 80s. That’s a lot of money to slip through those tiny fingers.

Crooked comb-over. Sad.

Yuuuuuge disappointment!

He didn’t bomb Iran fast enough.

Morons! They don’t have trees in space!

Tiny hands Trump

Are you allowed to impeach a President for incompetence?

Unstable dunce.

My penis is so small. Much smaller than yours It’s the smallest in history.

Get off Twitter you moron!

You know what they say about small hands. Sad.

Barely a billionaire.

Fat, ugly, and a sugar daddy.

Fake tan.

Agent Orange with teeny tiny hands was filmed being pissed on by Russian prostitutes. Sad.

Looks like ol’ Dumb Donald got CAUGHT! Who knew such small hands could be so red?

Dangerous Donny founded ISIS.

I like Presidents who DON’T get impeached.

Little Donny’s wall is smaller than his hands.

TriviArt

Criminal Rain

Fluffy Car

Flatulent Poo

Sadistic Comma

Sober Australia

Goofy Trees

Obsessive Compulsive Nugget

INTERESTING MOMENTS

According to one team, it wasn’t Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, but Shrek: Prince of Thieves. (Actually that would have made for a much better film.)

Personal Jesus wasn’t performed by Depeche Mode, but by Pope John Paul II.

Someone tried to use their personal experience with tetanus to argue that it’s caused by rust. It isn’t.

We had someone guess that The Will to Power was written by motivational author Tony Robbins, rather than Nietzsche.

A question on aircraft carriers sunk at Pearl Harbour led one team to conclude that 101 American aircraft carriers were sunk on 7 December 1941, which is several multiples more than the number of all aircraft carriers from all countries that existed at the time.

And Bill Belichick was compared to Emperor Palpatine.

See you next week.

Here’s what you may have missed this week at iQ Trivia.

WINNERS

First of all, we staged our annual Champions League Trivia on Sunday, and the Bagpuss Finger was awarded to a new team “The Uncalled Four.”

If you won, here’s evidence just in case anyone doesn’t believe you.

And we had the first of a number of fundraisers for bushfire charities, which was won by this lot.

JACKPOTS

They got all three jackpot questions to beat out another team.

And they came in last place, but still knew enough about Civil War battles & 60’s hairstyles to win a jackpot.

TEAM NAMES

You’re a pretty depressing & nihilistic group if your security questions are anything to go by.

What colour hat were you wearing when you decided to break up the royal family?

What brand of cigarettes was your dad going to the shop for when he left forever?

At what age did your dad go out to “buy milk”?

What was the first reason you were prescribed anti-fungal cream?

In what city did your parent’s accidentally conceive you?

How many people left you before you accepted you would always be alone?

What’s you mum’s bra size?

When did you realise you’d spent every Tuesday for two years with an American?

What is the name of your first stillborn child?

What is the temperature in Calgary today? (Answer: -29.)

To which priest did you lose your virginity?

What was the name of your first imaginary girlfriend?

How many partners have you caught cheating on you with family members?

Does anyone love you?

Your age.

How old were you when you found out mummy was cheating on daddy?

In what year did you get herpes?

Which of my uncles is not a registered sex offender?

Which of you uncles is best in bed?

Who was you most handsy sports coach?

When did you last cry after sex?

What’s Prince Andrew’s favourite pizza place?

How many people will come to your funeral?

How many times have you failed suicide, like you failed everything else?

What is your mother’s maiden name? (Not your adopted mother, the one who abandoned you at the hospital)

Which teacher did you call “mummy” in front of the whole class?

When will death come?

What was the name of the first pet you had to put down?

What Joni Mitchell song do you most identify with?

When was the first time you disappointed yourself?

When was the last time you got a hug?

When do you hope to lose your virginity?

What native Australian animal do you miss the most?

TriviArt

Thunderous Exit

Salty Possum

Wet Juice

Cromulent Dog

Magical Clock

Fat Fans

Alluring Chopsticks

INTERESTING MOMENTS

A bonus round question on the Czech flag resulted in a Czech member of the bar staff having her moment of glory.

We asked about who periodically resides at Holyrood Palace & where it’s located, and a Scotsman informed us that we had pronounced it wrong loud enough to the rest of the room to hear, which did rather give a clue that it’s in Scotland. Also, someone answered that the Duke of Edinburgh resides there, and since that’s Prince Phillip, and he’s married to the Queen, he does technically reside there periodically, so we gave them credit even though it wasn’t exactly what we were looking for.

When we asked about four letter countries, one player reflexively went for Tonga. It was his intuitive answer to three questions, none of which were right. (But one of these days we will ask a question about Tonga & he’ll have his moment of glory.)

One team forgot to do a homework question on Colin Firth film roles, so they gave us a detailed description of each role rather than the character name. That amount of effort is worth a point.

See you next week.

Here’s what you may have missed this week at iQ Trivia.

WINNERS

If you won, here’s evidence just in case anyone doesn’t believe you.

JACKPOTS

They made a lucky guess on kayaking at the Olympics.

They made an educated (and lucky) guess on Daniel Craig.

TEAM NAMES

What resolutions are you sure to keep? THESE resolutions.

Have more regrets.

Disappointing our loved ones.

I will continue to procrastin…

My new year’s resolution is to be more assertive… if that’s ok with you guys.

Not leave baby at trivia.

The Vegenuaries (we asked, and it’s going vegetarian for January. Nothing to do with vaginas.)

Be fly as hell.

Star my year with a bang like General Soleimani

Not knowing how to give handshakes – Scott Morrison

Eating more Vietnamese food.

Only make fun of Ilya’s mum in days ending in Y.

Stop drawing Ilya’s mum.

We won’t mock Joe’s accent.

My new year’s resolution is to keep my new year’s resolution.

Avoid divorce by practicing polygamy.

I will argue over a team name and still pick the worst one.

I will fail to think of witty trivia team names.

I will wait until question 20 to pick a team name.

Spend less time in front of the TV, because I can stream on my phone.

I won’t be as unlikeable as Scotty from Marketing.

Keep breathing.

Inhale more smoke.

Wear more respiratory masks.

TriviArt

Rotund Sunflower

Moist Fire

Titillating Bushfire

Bad Unicorn

INTERESTING MOMENTS

A team that came in after question 7 still managed to come in second at the end of the night. Which is impressive.

When asked how many Chicken McNuggets it would take to equal 1kg, we noticed half of the teams weighing random objects in their hand. As if there is some sort of mass equivalence between McNuggets & sriracha bottles.

After answering a bonus question correctly with the name Richard, one of our players acknowledged “I just really like Dick.”

Another bonus question about a man stopping the bleeding from a stab wound with something you eat resulted in one team guessing “cocaine”. Because apparently cocaine is a food.

We had to explain to one team that South America, Siberia, and Sydney weren’t countries.

A woman sprinted across the room in heels to answer a bonus question before anyone else.

Someone who forgot to do the homework question guessed that “spoon boy” from The Matrix was played by Peter Garrett.

See you next week.

Here’s what you may have missed this week at iQ Trivia.

WINNERS

If you won, here’s evidence just in case anyone doesn’t believe you.

JACKPOTS

They just missed out on first place, but they did get questions on comedy & mathematical symbols to take home cash.

TEAM NAMES

Children’s stupid tantrums? You had plenty of examples.

I told them staples weren’t food

Not allowed to eat sour cream like it’s ice cream

My brother threw a tantrum because he wasn’t the eldest twin

Not being allowed to eat dog food

Wasn’t allowed to play with a redback spider

Wouldn’t let him get in the washing machine

I told him he couldn’t pat the wild bear

Wasn’t allowed to push the button on the bus

Her brother air touched her teddy bear

The world will end before I grow up

I wouldn’t let him eat the dog

Why won’t you let me torture the hamster

My brother had a tantrum because we couldn’t understand what he was thinking in his head

We wouldn’t let him hold his poop

I wouldn’t let him stick a fork into a socket

Couldn’t ride the Saturn 5 rocket at NASA

This ice cube is too cold

I wasn’t allowed to put my finger in the dog’s butt (we didn’t shake their hand)

TriviArt

Ghastly Ghana

Depressed Ogre

Scintillating Schooner

Moist Elf

Curious Residential Puppy

INTERESTING MOMENTS

At a corporate show, the CEO of the company failed a question ABOUT his company.

Captain Ahab’s ship in Moby Dick was NOT the Titanic.

We were looking for “Moana” as an answer, and one team went with “the Disney movie with the girl where she sings ‘and nobody knows how far it goes’ as she sails away. It’s on my Netflix to watch list but I haven’t seen it yet goddamit!” as an answer, which we deemed close enough given the level of effort & detail.

In a lightning round, for a question on female anatomy beginning with the letter V, one player could only whisper “vagina”. There’s no reason to be shy about it. It’s a medical term.

We asked a bonus question about the largest speeding fine ever levied, and one new player who hadn’t been paying attention guessed it was $44, which is only about a third of the smallest speeding fine you can get here.

The title of a Post Malone song was guessed to be “I Need Another Tattoo’. No points for that, because we’re pretty sure that’s the title of EVERY Post Malone song.

A player called one of our hosts out on their pronunciation of Launceston, claiming to be from Launceston in Cornwall loud enough for the whole room to hear him. It wasn’t until after a lot of pontificating about his hometown that he realised the question was asking about the origins of the name Launceston, and he had just given every team an easy point. NOTE TO PLAYERS: If you shout down our hosts during a show, this is likely to happen.

And the same team that just missed out on a jackpot by misspelling Golda Meir… just missed out on a jackpot for misspelling Joe Manganiello.

We’ve got two shows next week, one in Canberra & one in Sydney, and then we will have a whole week off for Christmas & the New Year.

See you in 2020.