You’ve been hearing a lot of Coronavirus news, and a lot of it is starting to blur together.

So for your team name this week, we want you to come up with your own Coronavirus news, using predictive text.

Type “Coronavirus is” into your phone and start taking suggestions for the next words.

Surely it can’t be any weirder than the actual news.

Have an interesting week.

The Coronavirus is causing big problems for a lot of people.

And it’s also causing a lot of really minor problems.

For your team name this week, we want you to come up with a first world Coronavirus problem.

It’s been a month since my last manicure.

My Italian villa has been requisitioned.

I’ve run out of things to binge watch.

My face mask clashes with my wardrobe.

Any petty Coronavirus problems will get you a bonus point.

Have an interesting week.

When all of our venues shut down, we revamped ourselves to operate online.

Maybe that was just us looking for the bright side of the Coronavirus.

This week we’re asking you to do the same.

I get to see more of my dog.

I can have a drink with my friends without having to put on pants.

I’m saving a fortune on razor blades.

Finally nobody asks me why I’m staying in on the weekend.

Anything that shows the upside to our current pandemic gets a bonus point.

Have an interesting week.

Under our current social distancing rules, we’ve had to get used to keeping a distance of 1.5 from everyone.

But how far is 1.5 metres?

This week we want you to tell us.

Keep one Kylie Minogue apart at all times.

If you can smell what they had for lunch, you’re too close.

15 toilet paper rolls.

Help us measure 1.5 metres for a bonus point.

Have an interesting week.

It’s tough meeting people these days, what with not being able to come within 1.5 metres and gatherings larger than two people being banned.

So this week we are helping you out with Coronavirus themed pick up lines.

What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this? Or any place? Seriously, go home!

You can’t spell virus without U and I.

Is that hand sanitiser in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

If the virus doesn’t take you out, can I?

Neither of us can leave. Your options are kind of limited.

I saw you from across the room… stay there.

Any Coronavirus appropriate pick up lines will get you a bonus point.

Have an interesting week.

FYI, You can expect team name themes will be distinctly Coronavirus themed for a while.

This week, taking up the mantle of the countless Coronavirus song parodies and Spotify playlists, we are asking for song lyrics appropriate for our current situation.

U can’t touch this

I’m down with the sickness

Don’t stand so close to me

You give me fever

I can’t feel my face

It can be actual lyrics, or you change change the lyrics a bit, but any Coronavirus appropriate lyrics will get you a bonus point.

Have an interesting week.

Coronavirus is looking like it’s really going to hit the economy hard, and a lot of people are going to be looking for work.

So for your team name this week, we want you to propose jobs that are currently or will soon be in great demand.

Shelf stacker

Security for shelf stackers

Divorce lawyer (after a few weeks of quarantine)

Any new industries or jobs for the Coronavirus economy will get you a bonus point.

Have an interesting week.

Coronavirus. It’s the biggest story in the world right now.

But we reckon it needs a new name, and not just because the people at Corona have suffered enough by association.

So for your team name this week, we want you to propose a new name for Coronavirus.

Batman Fever

Winnie the Flu (in honour of Xi Jinping)

Any improved names for Coronavirus will get you a bonus point.

Have an interesting week.

People are idiots.

Well not everyone. Some of you enjoy iQ Trivia, but a lot of people are idiots.

As evidence for this proposition, may we present the Coronavirus panic.

People are panic buying toilet paper, venues of ours are seeing it stolen from the stalls, and people are entering Woolies armed with knives.

So we’re making this into our team name theme.

What would be a dumber panic than the 2020 Coronavirus Toilet Paper Panic?

You all laughed at me when I filled my garage with 10,000 tins of chili. Well when there’s a mild breeze you’ll wish you had some.

That rainbow is going to turn my children gay.

Someone sneezed within 5km of my house. Time to burn down the entire suburb!

Any panic more ridiculous that Australia’s toilet paper panic will get a bonus point.

Have an interesting week.