Following on from last week’s insults, this week it’s all about compliments.

With your team name, you are going to compliment someone in seven words or less.

I bet puppies share pictures of you

Your hair belongs in a shampoo commercial

You’re cooler than a secret handshake

I hardly ever want to punch you

You’re almost as good as cake

Sure it may not be as fun as insults, but let’s be nice for once. Any brief compliments will get you a bonus point.

Have an interesting week.

This week it’s all about insults.

With your team name, you are going to insult someone in seven words or less.

I can’t underestimate you

You look like God hit randomise

Have the day you deserve

You make the Kardashians look empathetic

Any brief insults will get you a bonus point.

Have an interesting week.

Some of you may have been in Scouts or Girl Guides, and you may remember getting badges for things you did.

Now that you’re older, we want you to use your team name to come up with Scout badges that you think you deserve now.

Cancelling Plans

Root Canal

Only had one glass of wine

Went to bed before 10pm

Assembled IKEA furniture without swearing

Filed your tax return on time

Any grown up Scout badges will get you a bonus point.

Have an interesting week.

This week we want you to think of some of your favourite characters from years ago, and imagine them grown up. Like maybe the Middle Aged Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Lisa Simpson dropped out of graduate school and plays saxophone at open mic nights

Eric Cartman was elected to Congress and is being considered as Donald Trump’s running mate

Lilo was taken away by social services and raised in foster care

Charlie Bucket took over the chocolate factory, which had to close after litigation from the families of the other children

Dorothy had PTSD after visiting Oz and wound up an alcoholic

Pepe Le Pew was jailed for sexual assault

Any grown up versions of children’s characters will get a bonus point.

Have an interesting week.

Last week we borrowed from the “looking for a man in finance” TikTok trend to come up with unrealistically strict dating standards for your team names.

This week we’re going the other way.

Instead of overly strict standards, we want you to come up with unbelievably loose standards.

Constantly nagging, dandruff, unemployable

Refuses to apologise in any circumstances, neck beard, starts every other sentence with “well actually”.

Only talks about themselves, pathologically jealous, no teeth

Hung up on their ex, a dozen cats, criminal record

Give us a list of low dating standards for a bonus point.

Have an interesting week.

A guy went a bit viral recently because he claims to have invented “bottle night”.

Yes, he thinks he invented the idea of hanging out and talking over a bottle of wine.

This week with your team name, we want you to tell us what you “invented”.

I got some chilli and chicken and noodles and invented Thai food.

We take turns driving. I call it “car pooling”.

So I make my voice go up and down using words and rhythm. It’s called “singing”.

You need a ball which you kick around with your foot. It’s a new sport I invented called “football”.

Any dubious claim you have to inventing something will get you a bonus point.

Have an interesting week.