Here’s what you may have missed this week at iQ Trivia.

WINNERS

If you won this week, here’s evidence just in case anyone doesn’t believe you.

JACKPOTS

This team had two people from Cyprus, and lucked out when our jackpot question was on alcohol… from Cyprus.

TEAM NAMES

You were very good at coming up with ineffectual pick up lines.

Words can’t describe your beauty. Numbers can. 2/10.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re a 3/10.

Have you got a pen? Because you should probably get back to it before the farmer notices you’re missing.

Do you come here often? Because you shouldn’t.

Do you like STIs? And I’m not talking about the car.

Nice shoes. Do they come in women’s sizes?

So do you like… stuff?

You remind me of my mother.

You’re invited to my pants party.

You must have fallen from heaven. You’ve got blood all over your face.

You must have jumped out of hell.

I have chlamydia.

Hey baby, you look like garbage. I’d love to take you out.

Your teeth are like stars. They come out at night.

Whoa! You look like I need a drink.

You smell better when you’re awake.

You could be a part time model.

TRIVIART

Fat Dr Seuss

Moist Toothpick

Heavy Donkey

Drunk Graph

Tasty Mermaid

Delightful Watt

INTERESTING MOMENTS

One team taught one of our hosts that the Friends theme music was originally going to be Shiny Happy People by REM and got a bonus point for their efforts.

When they couldn’t remember the name of the 30 Rock character Jenna Maroney, one team named four other roles played by the same actress.

We asked about the most common countries of birth in the Australian census, and one team forgot to list Australia.

A team came up to us with the answer to a bonus question two minutes after another team had gotten the answer and we had announced it to the whole room.

We asked a question about Canadian Football. We read out the answer & were in the midst of explaining that we would give credit for American football when half the room erupted with angry protests, so we decided if they were going to interrupt us explaining that we were about to give them points, we wouldn’t give them those points after all.

And on two occasions, teams that won prizes left before the results were announced, and others got the prizes by default. IT PAYS TO STAY RIGHT TO THE END PEOPLE!

See you next week.

Here’s what you may have missed this week at iQ Trivia.

WINNERS

If you won this week, here’s evidence just in case anyone doesn’t believe you.

TEAM NAMES

Here’s what you would demand before going on stage. A lot of you have desires that, to be frank, are terrifying.

A single plum floating in perfume served in a man’s hat

Absolutely no phones… even if you’re not using it… if I even see a phone…

The cumulative sum of the 12 Days of Christmas

A bathtub full of fries & a shoe full of aioli

Strawberries with seeds on the side

A room full of puppies to play with

A giant chocolate fountain & personal message from the President

Demand a National Energy Plan before going on stage

Ilya’s mum not to be mentioned at trivia

Bill is our opening act

Bill must wear a sexy Bagpuss outfit on Tuesdays

I need to see Bill naked

Lines of coke from my dressing room to the stage

Blow jobs from Donald Trump

Blow jobs from a midget dressed as Darth Vader

A blow job but not a good one

A team of fluffers

Almonds with the titties still attached so I can get my maid to milk them and make my organic almond milk room temperature

Tastefully nude dwarves playing Twister

The sweet nectar of 14 virgins & the blood of 8 children

Pick all the salt off my pretzels

Fanned by George Clooney

You can only address me in song

Unicorn cheeseburgers

Sushi made by white people

A public servant to pick up my dog’s poo

10 20 grams of magic beans

TRIVIART

Jubilant Pub

Engorged Mother Tiger

Shiny Constantinople House

Tired Trivia Host

Stingy Badger

Surly Prostate

INTERESTING MOMENTS

One of our players nearly had a heart attack out of delight when we asked a bonus question about a brand of beer that was coincidentally also the name of her son.

When we asked about Barbra Streisand lyrics, one team told us that people who need people “are not tainted by the depressing reality of our petty existence.”

A team of SBS employees took a disturbingly long time to remember that Lee Lin Chin had retired.

Muhammad Ali & Sonny Liston were described as Muhammad Ali & Black Rocky.

After being the only team missing out on a point with the dilemma question, two friends proceeded to yell at each other throughout the rest of the answers. We’re not sure if they are still friends.

See you next week.

Here’s what you may have missed this week at iQ Trivia.

WINNERS

If you won this week, here’s evidence just in case anyone doesn’t believe you.

JACKPOTS

We had a team of veterans & a team of newbies take out jackpots this week.

TEAM NAMES

Here’s why you want to be fired. To be honest, it made us wonder what some of you do for a living.

I hate people (this was the most common choice)

“The pain is in my back but you x-rayed my front”

My boss got two of my colleagues pregnant

I’m pregnant with Barnaby Joyce’s love child

I have ten weeks of leave & I need the dough

F*ckin severance package… yeah!

Please fire us because Team Bagpuss is ready to go pro!

My boss made me bet $400 on the Masterchef finale

Came to trivia instead of picking my boss up at the airport

The light rail construction noise is unbearable

So you work at SBS… do you know Lee Lin Chin?

My boss is my pimp & my mum

Cocaine hangovers courtesy of the money market industry

I’m a priest in Ireland and they just opened a playground next to my church

I’m getting paid in Trump IOUs

People keep telling me they’re saving my job by not using self checkouts

A customer wanted my worn undies

WTF It’s beer o’clock

I’ll die before I go open plan

Hot desking

Cockroaches in the coffee machine

My boss thinks he’s better at trivia than me

And from a team made up largely of iQ Trivia hosts… Our boss asks too many questions

TRIVIART

Sweaty Shakespeare

Blingy Panda Foot

Red Giraffe Hat

Elated Graveyard

Tasty Canada

Moronic Albatross

INTERESTING MOMENTS

When we asked which name wasn’t an actual royal nickname from history, one team picked George the Curious it as either they would get a point, or they would find out there had actually been a George the Curious, so they would win either way.

We asked a question about Bill Shorten, and one team answered with “a super generic politician”.  We decided that was pretty much the same thing.

One team had a long & involving debate over how many feet a panda has.

A player had to be convinced by his teammates that Israel was an actual place.

And one team either spelled the title of the Robbie Williams hit Better Man incorrectly, or they actually thought the song was called Better Mao and is about one man’s constant struggle to maintain ideological conformity to the Chinese Communist Party.

See you next week.

Here’s what you may have missed this week at iQ Trivia.

WINNERS

If you won this week, here’s evidence just in case anyone doesn’t believe you.

JACKPOTS

These people won jackpots. One of them got their answer in before we finished reading the question, and being newbies, mistakenly said the answer out loud. Luckily for them, nobody but the host heard them.

TEAM NAMES

Here’s some people who didn’t do what they’ve been accused of.

I spoke to the person using their phone and they said they weren’t cheating.

I spoke to Britney and she didn’t do it again.

Lindy Chamberlain: I spoke to the Dingo and he said he didn’t do it.

Principal Skinner: I spoke to Bart and he says he didn’t do it.

CNN: I spoke to Lance Armstrong and he says he didn’t do it.

Hitler? Holocaust? Wasn’t me.

I asked Gary Glitter and he said he didn’t do it (whilst nodding and licking his lips).

We asked Hillary about her e-mails and she said she didn’t do it.

And several teams going with: I spoke to Shaggy, and he said it wasn’t him.

TRIVIART

Grimy Cork City

Colourful Dog Chairs

Glorious Blackboards

Running Apple

Breadly Grass

Gardening Dildo

Bouncy Bathtub

Moist Queen

INTERESTING MOMENTS

What’s one of the key ingredients in a Margarita? Regret. That not the answer we had written down, but for one of our players it was very, VERY true.

An Irish team had a hard time forgiving themselves after getting a question on potatoes wrong.

The “last place” team at one venue turned out to be a guy from France who excitedly ran up to us and answered a question on the YouTube video about Charlie the Unicorn, quite unaware that a quiz was going on. We gave him an honorary two points.

One of our venues gave out bonus points if you turned up wearing onesies.

And one team turned up to a fully booked trivia night, had nowhere to sit, and waited until trivia was over, when we gave them the quiz that they missed. We were not going to deny them the quiz they waited for for so long.

See you next week.

Here’s what you may have missed this week at iQ Trivia.

WINNERS

If you won this week, here’s evidence just in case anyone doesn’t believe you.

This team insisted on singing a victory song.

JACKPOTS

Knowing about Prime Numbers can win you cash like it did for these teams.

TEAM NAMES

Apparently Australia would win the World Cup in…

Lockout Laws

Offshore Detention

Having the most venomous creatures

Slowest Construction

Goon of Fortune

Shoeys

Casual Racism

Latent Racism

Bogan-ness

Calling everyone a c&nt and getting away with it

Taking Sickies

Being Sore Losers

Melanoma

Ball Tampering

Drunks Taking a Shopping Trolley Through the Maccas Drive Thru

TRIVIART

Sticky Spider Fishing off a Turtle

Pretty Pig

Dogs Attending Furry Convention

Sparkly Puddle

Crunchy Feet

Awkward Paddle Pop

Bongs on Magic Carpets

Green Stroke

INTERESTING MOMENTS

When we asked about the main Coles logo, one team looked across the street to a Coles sign… and got it wrong because what they saw was NOT the MAIN Coles logo. Don’t believe everything you see.

In response to a question on the spiky shoes used in ice climbing, one team made up primarily of people from Sweden gave us the answer in Swedish, and got a point because we checked and isbrodd was the RIGHT Swedish word.

We asked about the number of claps in the Friends theme tune, and all you could hear for the next couple of minutes was random outbursts of clapping.

After we played a the song “Boys Like You” which includes the lyrics “your friends will tell you stay away because I’ve slept around” one team guessed that one of the artists was Rolf Harris. (Note: The ruthless mockery of abusive asshats like Rolf Harris is ALWAYS acceptable.)

The Big Dipper was described as “that cosmic saucepan.”

One team speculated that King Francis I of France put the Mona Lisa in his bathroom, so he could have something to… shall we say… pleasure himself to. We bet you’ll never look at the Mona Lisa the same way again.

To answer a bonus question, one team guessed “about the size” knowing full well it was wrong, just so our host would say the words “it’s not about the size.”

When offered a beer or bonus point at one of our quizzes, one team asked if there was a third option, and if they could have a hug. And hugs were had.

See you next week.

Here’s what you may have missed this week at iQ Trivia.

WINNERS

If you won this week, here’s evidence just in case anyone doesn’t believe you.

JACKPOTS

These four won first place in the quiz and knew more than anyone else about European rivers & musical notation to take out the jackpot too.

And these three finished well back, but they did know a lot about Steve Carell in The 40 Year Old Virgin.

TEAM NAMES

Here are your film titles with one letter changed…

The Fridge on the River Kwai

Mortal Wombat

Iron Dan

Bitch Perfect

Funding Nemo – Nemo turns to Kickstarter to fund his drug habit

Binding Nemo

The Bling Side

The Last and the Furious

Dude, Where’s My Cab

Dude, Where’s My Cat

Jurassic Pork

The Fantastic Pour

Top Nun

True Brit

Anchormad – Ron’s gone crazy

The Mighty F*cks

Cock of Ages

Lick Ass

Good Will Humping

Reservoir Bogs – Behind the scenes with the youth who sh!t in the Sydney water supply

111 Dalmatians – Because you always need more puppies

King Dong

King Bong

The Codfather

Forrest Dump

Top Gin – I feel the need, the need for a G & T

Dr Strangelobe

Silence of the Lamps

Ponder Woman

The Green Bile

Chitty Chitty Gang Bang

President Evil

In Diana Jones

and Beauty and the Yeast

TRIVIART

Grating Sea Horse

Banana Cloud Strapon

Buxom Rock

Sticky Camel Guillotine

Spicy Meatball

Slippery England

Balloon Turkey

Invigorating Peg

Colourful Dog

INTERESTING MOMENTS

When we asked about a single use object being sold on countless online sales sites in Australia, instead of giving us plastic supermarket bags, some teams went with German World Cup tops, condoms, and Thai soccer strips.

When someone thought the first of one of our special subject questions on Abba was too easy they complained. When we asked the second, their opponents got it right, but they didn’t. (DO NOT ask us to make things tougher unless you’re going to bring it!)

The Irish currency before the Euro was “the Potato” according to one of our teams.

In response to a question about what happened to two Edvard Munch paintings, one team recounted the entire plot of the film Bean, with Rowan Atkinson accidentally destroying them and replacing them with gift shop posters.

And when we asked a special subject question on the first German Field Marshal to surrender in WWII, one team didn’t know his name, but they did know the story about Hitler making him a Field Marshal as a way of pressuring him to commit suicide rather than surrender, and that’s actually more interesting than knowing the answer to the question we asked.

See you next week.

Here’s what you may have missed this week at iQ Trivia.

WINNERS

If you won this week, here’s evidence just in case anyone doesn’t believe you.

TEAM NAMES

Here are some of the new scams you proposed that no reasonable person would fall for.

Optus World Cup Package

For $19.95, we will help you avoid internet scams

Increase your penis size! Put your penis and credit card in an envelope and send it to…

Win 20 free iPhones

Need faster internet, download fibre NBN here

Sign up for the NBN now and your internet will be faster

Hot Russian lady looking for kind man

Doctors hate him. Find out why with this one useful trick

I’m an Australian prince

Hot blondes seeking men with great personalities

I am Winnie Mandela. I am in possession of $45 million. I need to transfer it our of the country because of my husband’s poor health condition. If you have a good business ideas, I will make you investments manager.

This is just a Panadol

Nigerian wealth creation & penis englargement

Click here to help a Nigerian prince who needs your assistance

Click here to get answers for the next trivia and win $1 million

Click here to influence your member of parliament

Your data is safe with us

Bitcoin

And finally… Agree to put this package in your bodyboard bag for a chance to win a 9 year all expenses paid stay in Bali.

TRIVIART

Most Satisfactory Pineapple

Rainbow Hat

Prickly Situation

Golden Cat from Pluto

Fluffy Beer

Spicy Drone

Dodgy S

Shady Paris

INTERESTING MOMENTS

The last place subject at the Eastern went from Sex Toys last week, to The Bible this week.

In a lightning round, a team of doctors got a question on cancer wrong, and more than one person struggled with what thing, beginning with S, is typically in the form of a red octagon.

When we asked if bleach, coffee, and urine were more or less acidic than human blood, one team asked if we meant separately or all mixed together. For the record if you’re making coffee with bleach & urine, you’re making coffee wrong.

Another team guessed that Napoleon was born in the 11^th century. Because apparently he was a vampire or a Highlander.

We had a team answer that the main female character in The Bourne Identity was “that chick from Run Lola Run”, which is technically not wrong.

Another team thought that during WWI, Australian soldiers fought in Vietnam.

A lesbian in a bar was sorely disappointed that she didn’t get a bonus question about a TV series from a list of unnamed characters, one of which was Lesbian in Bar.

We had to explain that when it comes to languages within the Jewish community, there is Hebrew & Yiddish, but there is no language called “Jew Talk”.

And when we asked about the countries that border Croatia, a Croatian player insisted that Croatia borders Italy by sea. Thanks for helping us improve the accuracy of our quizzes random Croatian guy!

See you next week.

Here’s what you may have missed this week at iQ Trivia.

WINNERS

If you won this week, here’s evidence just in case anyone doesn’t believe you.

JACKPOTS

These five actually walked out with more cash than they had when they walked in on account of knowing about the War of 1812.

TEAM NAMES

Here were the spurious celebrity rumours you were spreading.

Chris Hemsworth is Roseanne Barr’s illegitimate son.

Emma Watson has a foot fetish.

Donald Trump deports his wife after finding out she’s not American.

Donald Trump deletes Twitter to protest fake news.

Trump’s hair is real.

Tony Abbott is NOT a c*nt.

All of Taylor Swift’s songs are about Team Bagpuss.

Kanye West is starting a space program.

Kim Jong-un contracts STD after Trump summit.

The Kardashians quit Instagram

TRIVIART

Fluid Rocket

Cash Rat

Advantageous Drugs

Total Sydney

Sleepy Microphone

INTERESTING MOMENTS

We had to explain to one team that R was not the second letter in Malaysia.

We had to explain to another team that South Africa was not in Europe.

And two members of one team had to move to a separate table so they could conduct an intense argument about how many of the 100 most visited websites are dedicated to pornography without disturbing the rest of the team.

Finally, two teams from a fashion company held a real grudge match against each other, which was only settled when one of them got a bonus question on Louis Vuitton quicker than the other. Bragging rights were claimed.

See you next week.

Here’s what you may have missed this week at iQ Trivia.

WINNERS

If you won this week, here’s evidence just in case anyone doesn’t believe you.

JACKPOTS

It was a big week for jackpots, whether you were answering questions on Australian actors…

or German states.

We gave away a lot of cash.

TEAM NAMES

You proposed a lot of new World Cup team names.

The Spanish Inquizitors

Italy: The Drama Queens

Holland: The High Scorers

The Panama Hats

The Mexican Standoffs

Hungry Like the Wolf

Brazilian Landing Strips

Australia: Playback Bufferers

Australia: Back before the postcards arrive

The French Kisses

France: The Vertigos

The French Deep Sea Divers

France: Les Cheats

Sweden: The Flat Packers

The Swedish Allen Keys

Columbia: The White Liners

TRIVIART

Bearded Football

Puffy Barcelona

Boozy Celery

Moist Train

Singing Mountains

Posh Penguin

INTERESTING MOMENTS

We put another entry in our catalogue of bizarre things heard out of context at trivia, when one of our players boldly said “I am ALL about testicles.”

Jonah Hill was described as “that guy who looks like Seth Rogen but he’s not Seth Rogen.”

When we asked for the largest countries spelled using the letter T, one team cited Tonga, and claimed that the people themselves were the largest.

We asked if there were more Americans or Canadians in Sydney, and one team answered with Canadians, because we didn’t specify which Sydney, and there is a Sydney in Canada.

When one team couldn’t recall the title of 10 Cloverfield Lane, they gave us the following exhaustive description of the plot. “It’s a movie about a guy who saves a girl he crashed into because there is a plague outside, but then she thinks he actually attacked a young girl and she escapes after making a suit from a shower curtain and then it turns out it was an alien attack. Please give us a point.”

A team asked if they would still get a point after they crossed out a correct answer and replaced it with a wrong answer. Given that they came in first anyway, they didn’t need it in the end.

We had to explain to a number of teams that New Orleans is not a US state.

And one team put together an effort involving three team members that made it right through an entire lightning round, with the last player up demonstrating knowledge of everything from the Dude’s drink of choice in The Big Lebowski to the formula for Zinc sulfate.

See you next week.

Here’s what you may have missed this week at iQ Trivia.

WINNERS

If you won this week, here’s evidence just in case anyone doesn’t believe you.

JACKPOTS

There wasn’t much to it, but these three won first place and a jackpot with their knowledge of cold war conflicts.

TEAM NAMES

Here are your modified celebrity names.

Dick Cage

Huge Jackman

Bilbo Bagpuss

Quiztina Aguilera

Robert DeFaro (instead of DeNiro)

Malcom Turdbull

Tom Wanks

TRIVIART

Book Car

Russian Man

Banana-ey Beermat

INTERESTING MOMENTS

One team had to convince one of their players that Winston Churchill had never been President of the United States.

A new player had to be reminded to use her inside voice when she boldly shouted out “China” when asked whether China or Europe had more people.

Someone noted that when we asked for the biggest country in the EU beginning with D, we hadn’t specified a language, and went with Deutschland.

When presented with a picture of Edward Norton in Birdman, one team answered that it was “the crappy movie where Edward Norton plays a theatre actor.”

See you next week.