We want you to write a horoscope this week.

But instead of being full of the standard horoscope clichés, we want it to be brutally honest or depressing.

Capricorn – Your children will exceed you in every way and you will be forgotten.

Aries – You will fall asleep watching Netflix again… just like last night.

Sagittarius – Your ex is NOT coming back, and they’ve already forgotten about you.

Libra – You will not meet your soulmate today, because the likelihood that the one person in the world to whom you are perfectly suited lives in the same city as you is infinitesimally small.

Give us a brutally frank or depressing horoscope and you’ll get a bonus point.

Have an interesting week.