We’ve all seen the cringeworthy Katy Perry story about her putting the ass in astronaut.

With your team name this week, we want you to claim expertise or status on similarly dubious grounds.

I’ve seen ER, so I can totally perform a tracheotomy.

I’m a frequent flier, so I should be landing the plane.

Playing backyard cricket qualifies me for the Ashes.

Duolingo made me fluent in Japanese.

Any dubious claims of expertise will get you a bonus point.

Have an interesting week.